Rev. Waltrina N. Middleton
Minister for Youth Advocacy and Leadership Formation, UCC
Isaiah 50:4-9a

I Won’t Let Go, Until I Can Let Go 

I was bullied as a child in school. I can recall one person in particular who made it her business each day to taunt me with incessant insults and name calling. I wasn’t the only one. I remember Kevin hiding his face with his hands as he pulled his legs into a fetal position to protect himself from the kicks and the spit they spat at him because he—we were “different.” Somehow, I found the courage to face each school day determined not to allow that bully and her gang of cowardly friends to keep me away from my love for learning. Kevin found his escape through creative writing and drawing. We faced their insults not because we were helpless, weak or even afraid. We faced them and didn’t dodge their snares because we were faithful.

One day when visiting my hometown, years after graduation, I ran into Yolanda, the childhood bully. She said to me as I began to walk away, “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t speak to me. I was an ugly person back then. I hope you will forgive me.” I was speechless in that moment to see someone who took such pleasure in the suffering of others find the resolve to see that her acts did not disgrace me—but was a disgrace to her own human dignity. Years later, she was able to let go of the burdens of her sin and find liberation in a new identity as a kinder and gentler soul.

Lenten season is a time of letting go. All of those years, I was burdened with anger and resentment for Yolanda. All of those years, she was burdened with her own weight of guilt. That day, we both found freedom—we both let go. My relationship with Christ helped me to survive the burdens of my youth. It is my prayer that the arms of God will also offer Yolanda strength in her penitence and hope in a new day.

Prayer 

Liberate me from the bondage of my sinful past and usher me into a new day filled with forgiveness and love for others and for myself. Ashe. Amen.

Thought for the day 

Wrestle with God and don’t let go, until you can find the strength and faith to let go.